My Sweet Little Girl

“I expected more” he said to me as I dropped down to my knees

I hung my head the shame ripped through and I stared down at the floor.

“I’m sorry” I whispered but barely heard, I looked up my eyes implored

But his eyes stayed hard his posture straight I knew what was in store.

“You’ll remain here for an hour, right there where you are, don’t move, or talk, even sigh”

“When the time is up i’ll return and from there we will discuss your little lie.”

He left me then and my eyes filled up, I was sad but knew it was deserved

I should have paid attention, done what was right, been a good girl: sweet and reserved.

The time dragged on the world slowed down though my heart picked up its pace

My breath came fast, my mind raced on as I sunk into my submissive’s space.

Finally I heard the latch lift up, felt his presence enter into the room

I felt so small, so bad and so ashamed, and sunk further into my gloom.

The ball gag pushed against my now dry lips; I opened up wide as I was trained.

Tightened up hard, the cuffs followed next & i knew I was in for some pain.

The paddle, oh no, I hate that thing, it marks and burns and welts

But his hand’s on my head as he leads me to bed and the fear inside me melts.

I’m his little, I’ve been bad, but I know it’s ok, he’ll punish with only what’s fair

I’ll take the pain, and be good again, he’s just showing me how much he cares.

So I lie there as pain rains down on my skin, I cry and I beg for no more

But he continues on teaching the lesson I need, I’m feeling so painful, so sore.

Then the tirade of fire ceases it’s angry attack and his hands begin to assuage

The burning I’m feeling, my poor reddened skin has flared into a terrible rage.

The cool of the oil, the touch of his hands, the soothing words into my ear

The worst is now over, the love can pour back no more worry, or upset or fear.

My heart now feels open, my guilt feels released, I am freed and my body unfurls

“Well done my sub, your lesson is done, now come here my sweet little girl.”

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Not Alone

I stumbled on this on Facebook…truer words have never been said.

Nice to see it isn’t just us who felt this ‘awful truth’ Sir…

Such is the mystery and beauty of life…

Forever yours

x

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When Night Time Surrounds Me – Memoirs Of A Submissive

When night time surrounds me

And day time surrenders

When spirits come to revel in the dark hours’ splendours

When the pale of the moon glares white against black

When reality fades and my mind wanders back.

I know I should pick up my heart and march on…

But dark memories call and I’m pulled off track. 

The whip with its crack and the hand with its smack

The cane with its whoosh as it’s forced through the air

The feel of His fingers caught tight in my hair.

The paddle so hard, bringing tears to my eyes

Before slippery wetness would course down my thighs.

Deprivation of sight, and touch and sound

The feel of my knees forced down to the ground.

The longing for more and the relief of its pain

A slight pause, a caress, before starting again.

Too much, then I’m gone, lost in true sub space

At His feet, head bowed; I knew my place.

Cuffs bound tightly, or ropes pulled taut

The bliss of having my hands safely caught.

Straddling the chair or over His knee

He always knew where I needed to be.

Good girl, or brat, little or pet

Each of His girls were a perfect set. 

Slut and princess, all in a club

But favourite of all of course was His sub.

She took what was needed with thanks at the end

She’d straddle or kneel or suck or bend.

The perfect mix of all of the girls

Brat’s stamping foot or good girls’ cute curls.

I remember them all – they are always with me

And the memories of blisters, and welts and bruised knees

I keep them locked up, fenced off in my mind

With the those pink fairy lights surrounding the shrine.

So when night time surrounds me and day time surrenders

These spirits come to revel in my dark minds’ splendours

When the pale of the moon glares white against black

My reality fades and my mind wanders back…

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What Do You Want little one?

“What do you want little girl?” he asked of me.

You Sir.  All of You – I want to lose myself in You and with You.

I want my senses to be tied up, my mind to give up and my body to be Your play thing, to do with as You see fit.

I want to be the slave who takes away all Your pain and the slut from whom You take the greatest, dirtiest, darkest pleasures.

I want to be the little You can take the most precious care over and the brat You can’t help but want to tame.

But most of all Sir…I want to kneel at Your feet and be the submissive You have always dreamed of owning - the one possession You are the most proud of – the one other being on this whole earth whom You know you can trust with Your life; to support You and love You and take everything You have to give, be it agony or ecstasy.

I want You Sir.

You are my everything.

“Oh little, you really are the sweetest thing. But I meant: do you want tea or coffee?”

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Submissive Memories…The Deleted Scenes

Just us.

Last night was my first night with him as my dominant & only my dominant, and me as his sub and sub alone.

Just us.

No future, no sleeping over… No feelings? No emotions?  No point?

Not so much.  The old feelings came back – when he touched me or held me (briefly) or kissed me (minimally) they flooded back.  They made my tummy flip and my heart beat momentarily quicker.  I wanted to just look at him and remember him, however much it would hurt my heart.

 And then sub took over and in to space I fell.

Spanking started, which made me weak – I missed it.  Followed by thinking time hog tied in my black pleated skirt, white cotton shirt and bra, ass up.  I went through my misdemeanors list in my head, then simply enjoyed the silent vibrating in my white cotton panties from my bullet vibrator.  After waiting for so long for release it was hard not to lie back and just go with it.  Well I did a little – but not enough.

On his return, paddling me with the long handled, hard, wooden brush took me to the next level – the pain stopped and pleasure took over.

I can’t always make it to that ‘place’ during a session – sometimes it’s just darkness and pain…

But moments after, it was over his fingers which did nothing to stem my growing need to come – hitting all my favourite places – slick and delicious and definitely needed.  The command not to cum only elicited more need to do exactly that.  I did well though.

Hair in his grip and made to crawl (my inner pet makes my stomach tremble just imagining her being allowed out – she is my new favourite) i was placed on tippy toes by the fridge while he cooked for me, every now again being brought to the brink, spanked and then left again.  Oh torture – i love it.  I just can’t help moving my ass subtly in his direction hoping for a little more attention.  I got it – ice cube lubricated in mouth before being placed in my ass made me think twice about shifting myself in his direction unasked for.

Any new sensation is a gift though.  I want it all.  

The command to suck his cock was such a delight I practically came there and then…impatient as ever I felt my need growing before finding myself in my favourite place – on my knees.  Hard cock in mouth.  Sucking and playing and utterly in my element – thoroughly distracting him from cooking.  Even if only momentarily.

Feeling him hold my hair and head in place while i sucked brought out my little slut – she just loves it.  Rougher the better.  I love her headspace too.  Feeling and hearing him cum, and tasting him and showing him with mouth open put me in a good place for what was to come – although i just wish he could have fucked me there and then.  Instead, leading me back to the fridge, he made me beg…i love to beg…and then he made me cum.

At last…I felt myself let go of my mind, fall heavily against him, and sink into his arms which held me safe while I flew….

*

Pet came out during dinner – on my knees, hair gripped hard in his hands, he fed me.  Yes Sir – that ‘wry smile’ was sheer pleasure at you letting me have her out her cage, despite it being in response to a cheeky comment.  I’m still getting my head around Pet as a headspace.  I am trying to work out what I love about her – but in the right hands, and the right grip, she is amazing.

I needed more more more. So long without a Dominant, my submissive had become desperate for release that no amount of toys could fulfil.  I needed him.

I was denied.  

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