Because He Is Mine. Addicted To A Memory

Because He Is Mine. Addicted To A Memory

The warm breeze crossed my skin and made me shiver with its silky touch.  I looked up and over the balcony to view the skyline as it cascaded off into the distance – lights of all colours blinking and glittering far below me.  The occasional car horn or screech of tyres were the only sounds I could make out from the real world which went on below us as we remained locked away in our own fantasy world up here in this beautiful penthouse apartment.

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We’d already spent two nights locked away from reality, lost in our own world.  The first time in a long time either one of us had felt truly complete again.

I felt his presence moving toward me from behind, and I shivered again, but this time from his powerful energy which stalked me like the arrogant, alpha, predatory panther like creature he was.  A sharp predator in the world which went on down there – but up here with me, the sharpness left him, there was no need for it – leaving him as his true self for me to play with – a gentle dominant with a power in him which scared me in the most tantalisingly delicious way.  As he fed me and held me tight to his warm skin I felt loved and oh so protected by this beautiful creature – but as I stepped out my silk slip, his eyes would change in an instant with a dangerous wildness which gave me goosebumps and would force me to look away and drop to my knees in instant submission to his sheer overwhelming dominance.

And right now, as I felt him walk up behind me as I stood out here catching my breath in this beautiful, roof top oasis of solitude for us, the hairs on the back of my neck lifted, I shivered deeply and divinely and instinctively and involuntarily dropped my head backwards just a moment, perfectly timed for it to lean back on to his shoulder as he placed his arms either side of me on the rail and gently pressed me up against the balcony, and here we remained for a moment, overlooking the bustling city which continued to live on far below us up here in this place where time ceased to exist.

Placing his hands on top of mine upon the white railing which ran the length of the balcony, I felt his lips gently bite below my left ear lobe and his tongue run silkily and smoothly down my neck to the end of my shoulder, where he began to bite, with more force this time, before retracing his steps back up to my neck.


I caught my breath and then sighed deeply – emitting a slight unexpected moan from the back of my throat as his next bite, which he mixed with the grabbing of my hair on the right hand side of my head and the pulling down and back of my head caught me off guard. With my balance slightly off in that unexpected moment, I felt my body rest heavily against him and his own strong body standing firm behind me, supporting me, as he always does.  His right hand takes another swift grab for my hair, this time catching all of it into a rough ponytail, allowing him to now easily manoeuvre me.  His left hand now lifts to catch my throat, holding me tightly in place, leaving me leaning hard back against him, breathless, not just from the tightness at my neck, but also from the sheer exhilaration of being with him – being his – the releasing of worry, anxiety, and the pressure of the realities of whatever is down there below us where life continues to flow.  This is our escape.  And whether we get an hour or a week together, the divine feeling of leaving behind the world never fails to make its impression upon my mind.  He is my escape.

I feel him silently request my legs spread as his foot pushes my own outwards.  I do as I am requested, of course, and gladly sink forward towards the rail as I feel the hand in my hair begin a downward pressure, and the other hand release from my throat, and instead run down the soft, naked skin of my back, coming to rest at the base of my spine.  A gentle pressure here tells me that this is where he wants me.  His other hands now moves between my legs and into me where he finds me wet, hot and desperate to be taken by this wild creature I get to call Mine.


Placing his now soaking fingers into my mouth for me to taste, I can feel him hard and ready to slip deeply and divinely into me.  As I suck, and lick and take his fingers further in my mouth, I close my eyes as he pushes into my hot body and finally our two body’s are rejoined as they should be.  Whether by tongue, by fingers, by gaze or in this, the most primal of all ways for two souls to come together, we are better when we are one.  The attempt to escape the world is complete – we are free – we are deeply, and decadently free together.  And as he continues his rhythmic pace, and I can feel him further within me, his hands on my waist now, pulling me back in and away, again, over and over against the length of his beautiful hardness, I open my eyes and look up at those twinkling lights and take in the surreal-ness of my surroundings.  My fantasy lives on here – wherever we are – wherever this is, whenever we are together.  My mind spins, and becomes hazy.  Lost in the magic of sensation, I feel the length of my hair once again taken roughly, twisted once around his hand, and then pulled backwards so that my head is suddenly sharply drawn back, and there are the stars in the night sky.  The pressure of his hand now resting on my lower back means I spread my legs a little further and sink a little deeper down so that now my chin is level with the rail along the balcony.  And he leads me up and down his length with the hand in my hair; my heady, hazy mind gets lost in the sensations, and I feel my body begin to pulsate from within my very core as he moves again and again over my g spot; his breathing heavy, the occasional involuntary moan is released from deep within his throat, and I close my eyes and allow the deep dark movement of my orgasm to grow and build upwards from my pussy, through my now convulsing core muscles, up to my heart and to my mind, where behind my eyelids, my climax explodes, and the glowing lights of my surrounding view is the least of my interest.  As my animalistic groan of intense pleasure builds within me and I release my body and mind up to the sensation of it, I feel his own pleasure moving ever closer and he becomes larger still within me…his movements becoming jerky, one moment he is forced deep inside me, the next he is nearly all the way out, stretching me open in the most delicious way with the hot hard width of the head of his cock, and I am lost.  I feel my body rhythmically trying to match his movements, and find myself pushing back and slamming my asscheeks against his legs to gain more depth, more friction.  The final release of pressure within me is waiting to implode with his own orgasm, and as he begins to peak, I cry out…I lose sense of where I am, not that it matters, we are flying so high above the city up here…the only creatures to hear me are the night birds which circle above us on their way to their beds. His hand in my hair loosens, as his orgasm reaches its final destination – that final moment, the ultimate deep high before you know it’s too soon coming to a close…but with this final ricochet of pleasure through him, with both hands he grabs me around my throat, and forces me one last time down deep and hard on to the full length of him, and I feel the pressure of him inside me and wallow in this sensation, with the realisation that I don’t know when I may feel this again…if ever.  And so I squeeze my internal muscles around him and breathe in deep, taking in the now cooling air of the night into my hot exhausted lungs, and as I breathe out slowly and heavily, I feel his body relaxing, and his hands dropping from my throat and relaxing back down on to the rails of balcony either side of mine; and he leans over, his breath ragged.  My head now rests side ways down on to the coolness of the rail…not comfortable per se, but I want to relax and take in this final moment of us being one.  I look ahead from this sideways angle and see the lights of the city over in that direction too, and before I close my eyes and he withdraws from me, perhaps for the final time, I become deeply aware of how my entire being feels in this moment…from what I can see, hear, sense and feel, and, flicking my eyes up to meet his, just for a moment, I take in that look of darkness he has moments after he has come deeply within me – his air of predatory wildness, and his energy which screams of his pursuit of pleasure; pleasure which I know my body can fulfil in him more than anyone else’s could…because he is Mine…







I hope everyone is doing well and that you are all bound and collared beautifully to the perfect Domiant, Domme, Master, Mistress or Sir.

I know, after much heart and soul searching that I am exactly where I should be with my beautiful handsome alpha as I end 2015 and get wed at the start of 2016 – to a man who pushes my buttons and drives me mad – but who puts me in my place when needed and makes me feel more secure and safe than I have ever felt in my life…

Happy Christmas my beautiful subs – you know where I am if you need me xxx

The Fire

The Fire

The fire in my belly was only fuelled further by his fingers within me reaching up as if to stoke it…I had dreamed of this moment for many months…when I would finally be his.  We had talked on the phone, online, on text…fuelling our fantasties and lust with words, and thoughts and dreams…but the moment his fingers pressed against my g spot for the first time, the days and weeks of longing and yearning were lost to me.

I was lost to the world…lying back on the bed, legs spread, knees up, as requested, hands held fast above my head by my slim wrists which he so easily clasped in one hand.  My mind was wavering between reality and fantasty as his delicious fingers worked on…building up the flames in me, before retreating just for a moment to allow me to simmer back down…growing the need in me slowly so as not to allow the explosion of to go off too quickly…I tried to come back to earth a little, savour the moment, but all I could focus on, it seemed, was on his fingers….where they were in relation to me, where they were stroking, how fast or slow they were fucking me…how close they were getting me to the edge of my abyss before cruelly and so expertly pulling me back again before the fall rose up to catch me.

Unexpectedly he removed his fingers from me entirely and brought them to my mouth… and as I wantonly licked and sucked my own wetness from them, savouring every last drop, I looked up innocently from under my lashes into his eyes and felt my stomach drop and grip with need at their heavy, decadent darkness.

That look, which I could have never have hoped to replicate in my many many fanatsies about him, and as he brought me to endless orgasms with his silky voice and hotly depraved words on the phone and skype…and although he had watched me come many times this way, he had never yet allowed me to watch him, but the look in his eyes told me that perhaps the moment may not be far off now…and at that thought, and as his fingers forced their way back between my legs for my finale, my back arched and I found my voice as I cried out in desperate need of release.

His fingers…his gorgeous, clever fingers which I already adored, found my sweet spot, and with his thumb over my clit, began to work their magic on my body, rubbing my g spot, spreading me painfully yet so deliciously wide as yet another finger found room to enter me, and smoothly rolling over and over my clitarus.  I felt to full…I felt so alive…I felt overwhelmed and entirely on fire….my whole body desperate.  I unwittingly fought against his hands on my wrists as my body attempted to all but fly from the bed with the energy being catapulted around within it…I could feel my mind dropping into a whole other dimension…I oped my eyes wide, and found his staring directly down at my face…and I was hooked, right there, on that darkness, which was greater still as my own orgasmed neared.  I looked straight into his eyes as his fingers did their final count down…my eye lids hooded with desire, my lips swollen with the lustful energy caught inside me and my cheeks pink from the exertion…my orgasm began much like any other I had given myself for him online…but then he removed his hands from wrists and pushed two fingers into my asshole which was now soaking wet from my dripping pre cum, whilst simultaneously dropping his fine lips to my nipples and sucking and biting my breasts, nipples and my favourite sweet spot, my neck, as I writhed and screamed and moaned, and babbled my thanks and my need and desperately cried out to god over and over…I felt myself become lost in him and his energy as the orgasm peaked for what felt like simultaneously forever and a second…I could have stayed at that high for the rest of my life.  As the peak began to decend but as pleasure still wracked my hot and exhasuted body, he looked back up into my eyes.  They were glazed and glassy…his need for me entirely obvious and it sent me skyrocketing for one final chrescendo.

As he removed his fingers from my ass I took a sharp intake of breath…both from the senstiivity I still felt there and from the sadness of loss…I suddenly felt very empty as his other hand left my now beyond soaking pussy and once again fed me my own wetness.  I felt down to where I lay and noted that the sheets were soaked…I had come excrutiatingly hard.  Now it was his turn.

Not yet knowing what he wanted from me exactly, this being our first meeting, I allowed myself to be manouvered to his liking.  I found myself stood up facing backwards against a hip height dark wood chest of drawers. He placed my hands precisely where he wanted them, either side of my ass cheeks, before he proceeded to lift me, one leg at a time and wrap them around his waist.  I placed weight through my hands, now seeing the importance of the correct positioning here.

His cock, very obviously ready for me, took 3 shallower dips into me before finally managing to plunge in deep, filling me right up in ways his fingers could never have achieved.  I gasped loudly, and moved one hand from the chest of drawers in shock and slight pain, placing it on his shoulder for support.  He instantly stopped, looked at me, looked at my hand and I took that as my cue to replace it back where it needed to be and not move it again…

He began to fuck me, using my hips to pull me back and forwards on to him, deeply and urgently.  Although I was wet, his size created some discomfort in this postion, but soon the pleasure over took this and even added to it, and I began my incline to orgasm.  He told me to lower myself now on to my elbows, so carefully, and whilst he slowed his thrusts and moved his hands to grip my ass cheeks, I found myself in one of the most intensely sensation filled positions of my life….from this angle his cock simultaneously hit and rubbed against my g spot over and over again…there was no getting away from it…it was overwhelming and almost painfully pleasuresome.  I gasped and struggled to breathe as my body fought the sensations…”Too much” I begged…”Too much” but he knew exactly what he was doing…instead of slowing, he sped up.  And within five seconds I was coming harder than I had ever come before.

As my head fell back, and my bare neck and breasts lifted up as my back arched to further get more phsyical contact with his cock on my g spot, I felt him get bigger and fuller within me, his thrusts getting shorter, sharper, harder and more demanding….his breath being strangled with arousal.  I lifted my head in my mid orgasmic haze and now it ws my turn to send him spiralling….my desperate look of need and desire mixed with me pushing my hips hard back on to his cock so as to fill me up more and harder was his final push…his eye lids closed briefly, before opening fast and flashing darkly at me as his orgasm broke through his entire body.  I peaked again at the new rhythmic energy which now hit my g spot and filled my pussy entirely, and to the hilt.

I suddenly found myself unexpectedly pushed back right back against the wall with the top of my back, and my ass and pussy exposed wantonly as they were thrust forward to the front of the dresser, and from there his final few thrusts into me were teamed with a look so dangerously dark and wanting that it set my heart pounding, and, despite the sheer exhaustion of pleasure I had just experienced, I found the flames of my need were newly awakened and I was entirely desperate for more…


We Have Lift Off

We Have Lift Off

I am so excited to say I finally have a website…

I am working now with submissives on a private basis as a guide and confidante.  This work is free – it is important for me to do this as I am a professional life coach in other areas…but I need to know I am doing my part to keep my glorious fellow submissives safe when in a vulnerable position mentally, emotionally and physically..

For more information on this, to see my lovely new site or to contact me follow this link

All my love

True Sub


For My Fellow Subs…Don’t be Afraid To Be Strong

For My Fellow Subs…Don’t be Afraid To Be Strong

Sub’s, I feel I need to say something.

I get so many beautiful emails and comments from my followers…I feel blessed to have found a place here where I can inspire other submissives to follow the life they have craved.

But I now feel it is a good moment to place a fair warning.  I hear from submissives who find themselves feeling weak after a relationship with a Dominant has ended (and some even when with their Dominant worryingly), and this makes me very sad and very concerned for the submissives in question – it is as though they are fogetting the power within a submissive.

I too have gone through the ending of such a relationship…(as many of you have followed in this blog).  The most intense sub/Dom experience imaginable as he was also much more than that I’m realising in hind sight…and although the ending was a decision taken out of my hands due to my having a child and he not wanting to be a part of his life, it still ripped my heart to shreds after years of being hurt by other men, then finally finding solace in the arms of a strong capable person and then even he letting me down.

So because I know what this experiene is like first hand I want to offer hope and support to submissives out there who are finding things tough.  I recently commented with this reply to a sub…and I wanted to share it with thie community so that you can see another alternative way of looking at yourself and your life choices as a submissive….here is what I replied:

“Try and find strength – it is a wonderful thing to have been able to find this new part of You [your sub]…whether he is around to enjoy the ride or not! Think how strong sub is! What she can endure…what she chooses to do and be…don’t think that the strength you have as submissive comes from him, because it doesn’t…it comes from within you.  He has given you a great blessing by opening you up to this side of yourself…and now the best thing is you get to love and protect your little inner sub for the rest of your life with or without a dominant around.  Of course it’s wonderful to have that part of you nurtured and loved [by a loving Dominant]…and if that’s what you need then that is what you will find.  But you until then you need to keep your energy positive and vibrant…a good Dominant, as in a positive role model Dominant, won’t be drawn to a broken submissive. Only a negative, energy sucking dominant who is in it for the power trip and for his own ends will be drawn to a vulnerable broken sub.

So get comfy as You…draw strength from her. Develop her in your own mind, learn who she is and what she wants and needs, without a Dominant for now, so that when you do find someone, you won’t just be with the first dominant male who comes along…you will truely know what you need from them, and not just be with them out of sheer desperation and need.
See the strength I take from mine?  She is MY little girl first and foremost…and no dominant, however strong and positive and wonderful can take that responsibility I now have toward her away from me.  I can choose to allow him to play with my sub of he is the right man…but she will always be mine to take care of…so you must find a way to gain inner strength from and with her…not just allow her to be needy and desperate for love and attention and therefore at risk of being taken advantage of my any man who comes along saying he is a Dominant.”
Submissives, I am so much stronger for the experience I had, and now I am through to the other side and without him I am still happy…in fact I’m more in my power and more ME than I have ever felt in my life.  We often come to submissivehood when we are at a loss…when we are vulnerable, and being submissive filled a need in us, a gap…we are floundering and suddenly there is a person who will tell us what to do and when and how…it’s like a dream and we fall for it as though it is reality.
It is wonderful and magical and a blessing to find your ineer sub…but you are more than her…find what else you can be.  Any good Dominant would want this for his submissive, so whether you are partnered or alone – do it.
Find yourself beyond the shackles.
If you have any questions, worries, fears, queries…email me any time
Forgetful Little Girl

Forgetful Little Girl

He grips me hard and my stomach is knotted in a ball of erotic tension as my body awaited his.

I become lost in a heightened state as he roughly moved me over his knees, trapping my legs between His and lifting my hips up to ensure my ass was at the optimum height for his hands to find that sweet spot.

My mind prepared itself for what was to come…I breathed deeply yet raggedly and look down at my hands which were perfectly spaced out in front of me.  As his hands began to stroke and warm up my bare skin my breathing calmed for a moment as I enjoyed the pleasure of his skin on mine, before his hand lifted away and the first smack ricocheted off my warm, firm behind.  The first is always sweet…the skin not yet sensitive ensuring that the full slap is felt as a warm erotic shock, the sensation of which ripples out beautifully across the nearest nerve endings.

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The second and third feel the same…the forth and fifth starting to feel a little more deeply as the spanks get harder each time…beyond that I find myself already getting lost in the growing pain.  My mind concentrates solely on that one area of my body as though under a microscope of sensation; the feeling of heat and discomfort starting to build quicker and quicker as I will my mind to lead me to the edge of the abyss.  Slowly but surely my mind carries me forward as the rain of spanking ploughs on on my now painful red cheeks.  One to the other, over and over…and just as I am about to blissfully fall head first into the shock of heaven he withdraws his hand, strokes once the reddened soreness before moving his hand down to my thighs…


Oh the stinging bliss of punishment as the slaps begin once again on the tender sensitive smooth skin below my now throbbing cheeks.  Unable to so easily lose the element of pain over this thin skin, I stay right in the moment as his hand continues its squeal inducing onslaught and as i wriggle and writhe, I find I am no longer able to control my body as it fights against it’s longed for attack.  His leg holds mine together tighter still, and his free arm grips around my waist rendering me unable to move.  The sting of every swipe burns and burns and burns….and then I am flying.  I’m lost in my adrenalin…the shock of the pain has finally carried my mind beyond reality and the present moment.  I free fall in my paradise of muted pleasure…each smack reverbarating around my very soul.  And then all too soon it desists….I lay there unable to move, unable to think, unable to do anything but breathe shallowly, my eyes flickering open and then closed.  I moan slightly in disappointment as his hands begin their cool down of my heated, deliciously burning skin.  There’s a final slap on my ass cheek for my demanding groan and then the very hands which had been breathing pain through my body just moments before began to force deeply into me, into my hot swollen pussy which, in the joy of the spanking, had gone unnoticed.  All at once I was fully aware of the deep internal need in me…a thick, heavy desire to be fucked hard and used so my mind can shut down once more, allowing my body to simply feel feel feel as my boundaries are pushed to their very limits.

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His fingers find me and move as I need them to, well rehearsed movements which get me every time.  Now my moans are no longer from disappointment from the loss of the spanks, but from the building unstoppable need in me….I’m coming before I know it and before I can ask for permission.  Gutteral waves of gentle treacel-like moans flow from deep within me as I speak a languge that even I cannot comprehend.  His quietly spoken sentiments, “Good girl coming hard for me…good little girl” push me on and on until I am all out of energy.  I quietly moan a little and enjoy the final wash of pleasure as I find myself dipping in and out of consciousness before he lifts my hips and stands up from under me.  I lay there vaguely aware of his undressing by my side…slowly and purposefully revealing each gorgeous limb and inch of skin making my breathing harden once again as I prepare for the next game we will be playing.

His beautiful cock is released last…my heavy eyes grow heavier still with lust and I lift my head slowly and open my mouth wide – his favourite invitation.  He sweeps the hair from around my face and grips it back hard in his hand and lifts my head up a little until I am perfectly positioned to take him all in which I willingly and obligingly do.  He slides me down the legnth of him until he hits the back of my throat, forcing me to attempt to open up a little more to stop the gag reflex from kicking in but too late, as I gag hard and my eyes start to water hard – he pulls himself from my mouth and looks down at my swimming eyes as I open up once more to welcome him back in.  As he continues to fuck my warm wet mouth, I fight the urge to gag again knowing that as much as he loves it, he needs pleasure so I distract myself by sucking hard as he pushes in and out, over and over.


As my now running eyes look up to him, he catches my gaze intensely just for a moment and pulls my head back hard, releasing my aching jaw from its task, and begins to re position me using only my ponytail as a reign.  I find myself on my knees, facing away from him, forehead pushed into the mattress, ass thrust up high – the still reddened skin sore from the stretch created from this position.  I feel his thumb push into my cunt just once to release my hot wetness and ensure I am ready to enable the finale of this show….and then at last his cock fills me up completely.  He pushes into the hilt, remains there as we both sink into the bliss of it, before pulling out fast and thrusting back in hard.


My body jolts as I release animalistic moans of base pleasure. His hands wrap around my throat and he pulls me back up so I am now rested up on my hands as he continues on harder and faster whilst i am subconsciously begging for more.  The tightening on my neck spins me out further and further and I am quickly building my pace; I can feel my insides beginning to throb and clench as orgasm draws near.  I realise I must get my request for permission out before it is once again too late and so I cry out as best as I can with his hands around me, and barely in time: “Please Sir, Please…” and despite his orgasm being only seconds behind my own, he replies in his usual controlled, disciplinarian manner, “Yes little one” and so I begin my rise.  My cries growing as the pleasure heightens, my breathing out of control and my requests for more and to be fucked harder all totally lost to me.  As he comes in to me, his swollen thickening cock fills me further still until I am all but blacking out from the swimming darkness behind my eyes…pleasure pleasure pleasure….swirling all encompassing swathes of it fill me as he does, and then it begins its retreat and i am left collapsed on the bed; my body hot, wet and satisfied by his.

He leaves me to recover with the simple but deadly line: “Well done little one, you’ve been a good girl – but next time you forget to ask for permision before every orgasm you will be sorry.”